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Christa Pike, who survived Tennessee’s attempt to execute her by lethal injection last month, is speaking out for the first time, saying she is recovering, “but healing is not the same as being okay.”

“There hasn’t been a moment since that night when I haven’t been in pain. My body hurts. My arms hurt. My hands hurt. My throat hurts. I still struggle to speak,” Pike said in a statement dictated to her attorneys. “And the pain isn’t just physical. There is pain in my mind and in my soul.”